holywatersupersoakers: Dwalin thrusts his warhammer into Ori’s hands, and the goblins and their screeching horror fall away. Ori hefts it, and the iron boils in his veins, resonating within the heavy mallet head, and Ori understands the weight of it. It is nothing like holding his meager slingshot, weak and light in his shaking hands; Ori holds the warhammer and fills to the brink with the...
louderdecibelle: koizumim: really though if breasts, butts and legs are so distracting to men, to the point they cant function why arent they that distracting to lesbians and at that point why isnt the penis bulge and legs not distracting enough to gay men to warrant men being put under the same dress codes #spoilers: its because its bullshit
My mistrust is not, as one might expect, primarily a result of the violent acts...– Shakesville - The Terrible Bargain We Have Regretfully Struck (via misandry-mermaid)
digivolvin: when dudes say they’ve been friendzoned i like to imagine rod serling waiting impatiently to escort their entitled manchildren butts into the alternate dimension they’ve created for themselves— a dimension not only of sound, but of mind. a journey into the land of their imaginations. welcome to The Friend Zone.
teenagesophiebennett: you know parents make such a big deal about explaining homosexuality to their children but when I was a kid I watched a show where one of the villains was a satanic cross-dressing lobster and never once questioned it
(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
crotchtiss: obsidianbutterfly: cliffwinds: is anyone else grateful that Mark Gatiss chose writing over murder I’m not 100% convinced he did…
gremlinloquacious: FORTH EORLINGAS!: ahodgepodgeofinanity: gyzym: leupagus: uncreativeart: [apparently… ahodgepodgeofinanity: gyzym: leupagus: uncreativeart: [apparently Gimli was the equivalent of 14 during The Hobbit timeline for aggressivelyfwddwarves] ONE DAY IMMA HAVE MY OWN ADVENTURES THEN YOU’LL BE SORRY True facts though,… It’s...